I’m Out Of The Office!!

Hello, good afternoon!

Some of you may, or may not know that each month we send out a mailer to all our lovely clients to tell them about our Artist of the Month. Making the mail out and hearing the lovely responses is by far the best part… unfortunately, like any mail out, we have to (well, actually our admin monkey Michaela has to do it!) trawl through all the bounce backs, out of offices and unsubscribes. BORING!! – or is it?

Lately, we’ve seen some really hilarious automatic responses which we’d like to share with you – because if they made us laugh out loud, we’re certain they’ll make you too!!

I will be out of the office starting 03/03/2009 and will not return until 30/03/2009.

Sorry, but I am away from the office. If you have a special deal on Viagra could you please send an email to the Florida retirement home: http://www.floridaondisplay.com/ If you are sending me a virus under the title “yourbankdetails.doc” I appreciate the offer and it’s really clever but maybe you should spend less time in an internet café on the Tijuana border. If you are a “barrister” who has come across some funds in Africa and need my credit details then I will provide them to you if you can tell me a word that rhymes with Orange and send me a 19 page document as to how you chose the burgundy wood to frame your ‘degree’ in gullibility and what material your ‘real’ Gucci suit is made of. For all other details please contact the front desk using the code word “Hello” on 0207 4949120 or email Wing Wing (her AC/DC track is mind-blowing) who was recommended to me by the great Shui Kay Kan: http://www.wingmusic.co.nz

And most recently:

I will be out of the office starting 10/04/2009 and will not return until 23/04/2009.

I’m on holiday in Dubai. Please don’t burgle my house when I’m away. I’ve just had new windows fitted, which has left me quite out-of-pocket & I’m quite attached to the meagre possessions I own. If you really feel the urge to do some pillaging in the NW10 area, next-door-but-one own a bigger flat screen telly and judging by the size of their 5 Series BMW, they can afford to replace it. Come to think of it, their cat makes a terrible mess of my garden, so you’d be doing me a big favour if you stole it while you’re there. I believe it answers to the name “Satan”.

Now that my neighbour’s greater suitability for a profitable spot of pilfering has been established, if your enquiry is related to something other than larceny, please contact _ until I return. Thank you.

The above were provided by our friends Matthew Keon at Fallon and Richard McGrann at BBH. So, thank you both very much!!!

We’d love to read more, so if anyone has some more examples – post them on the blog!!!

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